Becoming Her (Without Pretending)
A quiet shift I didn’t expect
There’s a charger in my office sitting on the credenza behind my desk.
It’s been there for years — a quiet reminder I see almost every day.
It says:
“Imagine the best version of yourself, then show up as her every day.”
For a long time, that message resonated with me.
It pushed me forward. Encouraged growth. Helped me imagine what was possible.
But lately, I’ve been leaning into something slightly different.
Not showing up as her.
Becoming her.
When “fake it till you make it” no longer fits
I don’t want to “fake it till I make it” anymore. That energy served me well in other seasons — and there’s nothing wrong with it — but it no longer fits where I am now.
This season is quieter. Truer.
Less performance. More integration.
For me, becoming her means settling into the woman I’ve always been underneath the noise.
It means becoming more of who I want to be — not by force, but by choice.
My choice. For myself.
What becoming looks like in real life
It looks like:
- being at peace with who I am at my core
- no longer waiting for approval
- no longer seeking validation
- no longer dimming my light to avoid judgment
Because here’s the truth: people are going to judge anyway.
So instead, I’m choosing to become her.
Choosing courage over perfection
This week, that choice showed up in real, tangible ways.
I showed up to Seed to Sprout sessions without perfection.
In real time, I navigated tech issues — talking through them instead of spiraling. I even skipped an entire section and had to go back.
Instead of fighting the missteps, I accepted them.
I made space for them instead of letting them derail me.
Was it perfect?
Absolutely not.
Did anything catastrophic happen?
Also no.
What did happen was growth.
I learned. Strengthened my facilitation. I took my time.
In doing, I proved to myself that I can stay grounded even when things wobble — and I can lead through it anyway.
Pruning fear and showing up anyway
This week, I pruned this week was fear.
I showed up on social media as me.
Not polished. For sure not on my A-game. Not perfectly worded.
Just me — the real Melinda from Maintaining Melinda.
Someone who isn’t just sharing a framework, but actually living it in real life…
in real time… just like you may be.
I spoke from my heart.
Shared reels that were real, not rehearsed.
Hit publish without cultivating the perfect image, the perfect words, or the perfect delivery.
I stuttered.
Used filler words.
Wasn’t flawless.
And the perfectionist part of my brain had lots of opinions about that.
What surprised me most
What I discovered surprised me.
My voice felt steadier.
Calmer.
More grounded.
I felt clearer. My guard naturally lowered.
As a result, I felt more like myself than I have in a long time.
And the growth?
It fit.
Was right on time.
Did not feel forced or performative — it felt honest.
Sustainable.
Rooted.
An invitation, not a performance
Becoming her doesn’t mean I have it all figured out (do any of us ever?).
Now, it means I’m no longer waiting until I do.
If you’re in a season where “fake it till you make it” feels exhausting…
If you’re craving something more settled, more embodied, more real…
Maybe you’re not meant to act like her anymore.
Maybe you’re ready to become her — one brave, imperfect, honest step at a time.
If this resonated with you, I want you to know this:
You don’t have to figure it all out before you begin, and you don’t have to do it alone.
No pressure. No performance.
Just a space to become, in your own time.